Loss

"When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight." 

 

-Kahlil Gibran

 

I am reminded today how fragile life is. I found out this morning that a friend's husband passed away due to an accident. My heart goes out to my dear friend today for the shock and disbelief she must feel. I have experienced loss of family and when we hear of someone close to us in pain, it can bring all of our own grief flooding back. I wonder if we're ever really done grieving. It's not only the sadness of the death, it is grief over the loss of companionship with the person. We grieve what is no longer ours, we feel the hole left by the loved one that we could never begin to prepare ourselves to face, though it is inevitable.

We are left with memories, well meaning friends tell us to cling to the memories, they will provide peace. In a sense they do, but not in the midst of grief, peace comes later. In the mean-time we go through the motions of living, surprised that the world continues just as it did before. We learn how to continue to love the person that we can no longer see, but hopefully still feel the presence of. Most importantly, we begin to process the loss at a deep level and express our emotions, even though it hurts.

I cannot take my friend's pain away, my heart aches for her because I know something of what she's feeling. I look at my own husband and wonder if he knows how much I love him, I hug my children and question if I was gone, would they have enough of my love to carry them through? Our lives are sweet, precious gifts, to be shared with one another.

A priest told a story once that gives me solace. He was caring for his dying father. One day, as the end drew near, his father beckoned him closer, pointed to the other side of the room and whispered, "Do you seem them? All of my friends!". I have faith that we are never far from those we love, even after they pass on. Reminders like this help me to see the simple truth of what really matters, the people in my life and the love I give and receive.