Feeling Alive!

"Don't ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive, and then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."

 

-Howard Thurman

Dear Readers,

I am in the process of creating a new blog with a new name. My first article was accepted for publication! I'm creating momentum, word by word. I am a writer and fitness instructor, breathing life to the dreams in my heart. I look forward to sharing the adventure with you!

I love sharing what motivates me to be and create more. I love to inspire you in your journey, whatever form that may take. I know this is my chosen path, and I'm ready, finally ready, to step into it fully and completely.

If you are interested in being on my email list, please send me a message. I'm learning as I go and wish to keep you in the loop. In the meantime, go find what it is that makes YOU feel alive. And do that.

Xoxo,
Laura

Become New

I am not who I was

I am being remade

I am new.

 

-Jason Gray

The rebirth of the light at this time of year, symbolized by the birth of Jesus and the return of the sun at the Winter Solstice, reminds us that we too can be born anew. The darkest days will soon be behind us. As light returns, warmth and joy are waiting for us. Just as winter slowly fades, you can choose to fade parts of yourself which you are ready to let go. You can decide how you will come back to life after the darkness and be made anew for 2013.

Each new year can be a turning point in our lives. Every day can also be a turning point. The cells in our bodies are constantly regenerating. You are literally a different person than you were five years ago. Reinvention is a beautiful process, one in which we can constantly engage. Each of us will experience being submerged in darkness at some point, a cold, bitter place that feels permanent. Nature's seasons remind us that our time in the light is coming, in fact it's just around the corner. With every death there is birth, with every sorrow there is possibility for bliss.

To get to our better season, we have to hang tight in the discomfort of our winter. When we try to escape the pain of whichever dark situation we are in, we lose the intended lesson. This is a surefire way to invite the same darkness back for seconds, or thirds. What you resist persists. What is showing up in your life that continues to hold you down? Gather the wisdom, imbibe it, become it, live by it daily. Have gratitude for what your challenge has taught you.

At age 16, when I accepted my lupus as an opportunity to grow in health rather than an enemy to destroy, I moved toward remission. I surrendered to what I could not change. I became grateful for the gift of self-realization at such a young age. Illness can be a great teacher, if you let it.

Some darkness is self-inflicted. Mistakes are a part of life, so are making amends, forgiving yourself and moving on. The size of the transgression makes no difference- you are pure divinity at your core and can always return to that.

You are valuable, you are loved and whole. You are new. You have the opportunity to become all of the hopes you hold in your heart. What truth are you living from as we enter the light? What are you bringing alive in 2013? Here's to a new beginning.

The Best Gifts

'Tis the gift to be simple, 'tis the gift to be free

'Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be,

And when we find ourselves in the place just right,

'Twill be in the valley of love and delight.

 

When true simplicity is gained,

To bow and to bend we shan't be ashamed,

To turn, turn will be our delight,

Till by turning, turning we come 'round right."

 

Simple Gifts by Joseph Brackett

http://www.marthastewart.com/274852/christmas-lights/@center/307034/christmas-workshop#/168867

 
The Holidays are upon us. This favorite time of year can easily tip into overwhelming. So much to plan, do and spend. One of my favorite songs, especially this time of year, is Simple Gifts. I need a reminder to slow down and enjoy the change of pace winter can bring. I am carrying over the gratitude focus from Thanksgiving into Christmas. Join me in opening the gifts already bestowed upon us during this beautiful season.

Simple Gifts... notice the original lyrics focus on "the gift" not "a gift", as it's been rendered in recent times. Shakers believed their faith was the supreme gift (credit), to sing about the gift was a reference to faith, a big difference one word can make. While I don't purport to be a Shaker, I believe each one of us are infused with an overflowing abundance of gifts, none of which need be purchased. With faith we see that we have all that we need. 

I love the idea of being simple and free, together. Perhaps one necessarily leads to the other. When we simplify, we promote freedom. When we are free, we are more likely to live simply. What does simplicity mean to you? I have four tenants to simple living:

1. Working smarter not harder. It's too easy to run circles throughout my day moving from one random activity to another, I'd much rather take the time to plan routines that both nurture my family and me and tackle my to-do list. I call these small yet significant decisions upgrading. One example, I delegate chores to the kids and pay them- they learn the value of work (for money I would have shelled out anyway, shhh) and I don't have to spend as much time cleaning. Win-win!
2. Consuming and shopping less. Staying out of stores leaves me more time, energy and you guessed it...money. I ask myself, do I need this or do I just want it? Will I still like this a year from now, or will it be clutter? I plan Christmas shopping carefully and within a budget, ideally  months in advance. I hand-craft gifts from the heart.
3. Consciously letting go of that which is holding me down- outgrown activities, toxic relationships, bad habits and clutter. I listen to my inner voice. If I have a bad vibe about something I let it go immediately. Physical clutter leads to mental clutter, it is the ultimate depression producer, toss toss.
4. Being picky about activities to which I commit myself. I've gotten better at saying no with love. I remember where my heart is, what brings me joy: family, fitness, spirituality, friends, solitude. I keep the important areas of my life in focus. I have given up trying to be everything to everyone.

Freedom necessarily supports simplicity. I am free to be myself without trying to conform to any complex standard. I am free to reject aspects of our predominant culture that don't fit with my values. My spirituality contributes immeasurably to my freedom. By trusting that God has a plan for me, I am free of fear and worry. I know I am exactly where I need to be. I am free because I feel unconditionally loved, I'm never alone. And the ultimate freedom- limits are removed from what I can accomplish because I believe that with faith, everything is possible.   

Simple Gifts was created as a dance accompaniment, to 'turn' is dance call. I like the idea that turning, bowing and bending connote change. We turn and come around right, we learn, grow and come to the conclusion after trial and error the importance of simplicity and freedom. We are flexible and open to the wisdom life has to offer. Change is embraced as we search for the lesson it offers.

How would it feel to live your life from the perspective that you are gifted? You are not without, lacking, insufficient or needing. You contain gifts within you by simple reason that you are alive and reading this now. Is the hustle-bustle obscuring your joy? Remember that you are enough, you do enough, and you have... enough.

Tell me, how are you going to carry the message of this sweet song into your life during this holiday season?

You Are Prepared

"You are not defined by your past,

you are prepared by your past."

 

-Joel Osteen

 

 

 

You cannot know what you are being prepared for, plain and simple, but I know it's great. What you are experiencing today, or have been through yesterday, may be the exact circumstance needed to propel you to unimaginable heights that would have been impossible otherwise. Coping with adversity gives us the opportunity to:

• develop skills that bring us closer to our one true purpose,
• meet amazing people who come into our lives just when we need them most and change us forever,
• learn what we are made of through perseverance and rely on new-found strength,
• cultivate faith and watch fear take a flying leap.

You don't have to live your life from the viewpoint of a victim any longer, you are merely being prepared.

 

While we can't see the process as it's unfolding- in other words, in the midst of difficulty we can't always identify the good that will result- we can trust that we are exactly where we are supposed to be at every moment. You have what you need to move forward, so keep going sisters and brothers.

 

I recently shared with a friend the frequency of my family moves as a child, on average every two to three years. At every new school, I was often singled out, made fun of, picked on and criticized for being different. At each juncture, I left behind close friends and familiar  surroundings accompanied by many tearful good-byes. While I wouldn't wish for anyone to have the same experience, I learned a great deal from having to adapt many times over. As an adult I intuitively know how to create a quick community of loyal friends out of necessity, I am friendly and empathetic to a fault because I've been on the receiving end of left-out, I have a grand appreciation and love of nature because of all the beautiful places I've lived (so hard to pick a favorite, Oregon, Idaho, Wyoming...), I am self-confident because I've learned that I decide my self worth, not the bully down the street. The experience of being uprooted over and over provided me with depth of character, perhaps my biggest asset. I've benefited in more ways than I can even begin to list.

 

Our past does not ever limit us in what we can achieve. We cannot use any particular adversity as an excuse for not pursuing what we are being called to do. Quite the opposite, I believe in cultivating gratitude for our challenges, for we wouldn't be who we are today without them.

 

What difficulties have you faced and how have you grown because of them? What are you doing now that would have been impossible without a particular challenge? Do you have the courage to trust that you are being prepared each and every day?

 

If you lived your life from this simple premise- I am being prepared and not defined... what then becomes possible for you, my friend? 

 

I know the answer... everything. 

No Fear

"Failure meant a stripping away of the inessential. I stopped pretending to myself that I was anything other than what I was, and began to direct all my energy to finishing the only work that mattered to me. Had I really succeeded at anything else, I might never have found the determination to succeed in the one area where I truly belonged. I was set free, because my greatest fear had been realized, and I was still alive, and I still had a daughter whom I adored, and I had an old typewriter, and a big idea. And so rock bottom became a solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life."

 

-J. K. Rowling (Harvard Commencement Speech)

 

Fear can do a number on us. It can keep us from so much that life has to offer. By imagining and fearing the worst, we keep ourselves trapped in a small life. Everyone has some level of fear, the question is whether we let it stop us. I love the adage 'feel the fear and do it anyway', you are bigger than your fears.

Rowling, before authoring of the infamous Harry Potters series, hit rock bottom after divorce, becoming a single mother with no job and a baby to care for, she lived in extreme poverty. When we are stripped to our essence, we quickly learn what we are made of. When the worst has happened to us, we can choose to no longer be afraid of it. Rowling, at her bottom, chose to dig deep into her determination to be none other than herself, a writer.

There is something about the freedom that comes from facing our fears. I believe we don't have to wait for failure to happen to learn from it. We can live from the premise that we are okay no matter what. This is a nothing-to-lose mentality that can propel us higher, beyond what we think is possible. When we're willing to face the deep depths, we're able to face the greatest heights- they're more closely linked than you can imagine, fear of one leads to fear of the other.

I had a lot of fear during my divorce, I was pregnant with our fourth child and unsure if my soon to be ex-husband would be around for financial support. I lacked a career, family nearby, or any idea how I would get through emotionally. I remember being asked about the worst that could happen, my biggest fear at that point was was homelessness. I then understood my fear was a distant possibility, just by naming it I was able to move forward with my life. Even if my fear was realized, I would be alive, I would have my four beautiful children, and I would find a way out.

I encourage you to name your fears both large and small, identifying the darkness sheds light. Write them down, then give yourself a reality check, even if they did happen, what would you do? When you've written them down, burn the paper, shred it, destroy it in a satisfactory way. Say out loud, "I am letting go of my fear of ...."

When I lose my fear, I am free- to be myself, to live with passion, to pursue what I want in this lifetime, to be the type of person I am proud to be. I can live from the light within me- unique, unobstructed and brilliant as ever. You can too, in fact you were meant to. Face what's holding you back, take away its power, believe that amazing and good things will happen, they are unfolding in their own time, at a divinely inspired pace. Fear is but an emotion, it's time we put it in its place.

No Regrets

"In the absence of clearly defined goals, we become

strangely loyal to performing daily trivia until

ultimately we become enslaved by it."

 

 - Robert Heinlein

How easy it is to get wrapped up in the day-to-day. As a mother of more than a few kids, I know this first-hand. Housecleaning, appointments, to-do lists, shopping, lessons, sports, meal planning, emails and endless errands fill my time. Before I realize it, the day has escaped me and one bleeds into the next. By looking at how I spend my time, you would discern that I prefer to do laundry and dishes over following my dreams. These things vie for my attention as I take the weighty steps toward my desk to sit down to write every day. Do the daily minutiae take priority over my life goals? No, but I have to convince myself of this often.
  
What will you be doing five years from now? Try this writing exercise to describe your ideal future. Use this as a platform for creating a vision for your life. Defining where I am going helps me to stick to the road I am on, instead of taking unknown detours. I have to know what I want before I set out to get it or I risk major distraction.

How I choose to spend my time now will make a difference later. Delayed gratification is real, if I take small steps today, tomorrow, and the next day, it will add up to big change no matter the goal. While I cannot escape all of my duties, I cannot let them overwhelm me to the point there is nothing left. I have a choice to use what free time I have wisely, in a way I won't regret five, ten, twenty years from now.

We are greeted every day with an opportunity to reinvent ourselves. We can take on new ventures and leave behind what no longer works. We can prioritize and schedule time in our busy calendars to follow our hearts. We have as many hours in the day as the greatest achievers throughout history. The question is, do you have the same focus and determination?  Do you know where you are going? You may not be able to map every step of the way, every twist and turn the road delivers, but you can have a clearly defined goal. I bet there is something that you can do today to begin to make your dreams a reality, the laundry and dishes can wait.

Dare to be Different

"To be nobody-but-myself—in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else– means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight, and never stop fighting.”

– E.E. Cummings

 

There's something very attractive about the idea of just being myself, it sounds simple yet profound. I have to ask next, how or when am I not myself? We all feel the burden to fit in: to think, feel and act the way we're "supposed to". The pressure might come from family, friends, society, anyone really. I believe we are under extreme pressure to conform, to behave in accordance with who others think we are or should be. We are taught from a young age to care about everyone else's opinions about us and respond in kind, to not rock the boat or cause discomfort to others. In response, we develop a false self, an acceptable face we put on for the world and forget what we've buried beneath the facade.

The expectations placed upon us are related to the roles we play, labels such as: mother, wife, divorcee, athlete, daughter, working mom, vegan, stay at home mom, sister, sick person, fit person, Christian... have all applied to me at some point. I find it amusing to surprise people with facts about me, like when I was a single mother with four young children, working full-time, and a triathlete. The labels didn't mix in their minds and they would more often respond with "whoa", perhaps they simply wondered how I fit it all in. I am a liberal Christian, and this confuses some people as well, just because I  strive to live by Jesus' teachings does not mean I am right wing conservative. We like to pigeonhole others, and I'm probably just as guilty in many respects. In our minds we think we have someone figured out, maybe we're trying to make everyone the same when the truth is we are all magically and wonderfully unique.

It's so easy to conform! My own life decisions sometimes teeter on the edge of being what others want or expect versus being true to myself. We all want to be accepted and loved, at a very deep level. We've all felt admonished for being who we are, as if we're not good enough, impractical, or too different. A young child dresses up in a superhero costume and his mom makes him change before going out, to avoid her own embarrassment. A college student majors in business because his parents have convinced him his art will never earn him a living in the "real world". A teenage girl purposefully keeps from raising her hand in class to avoid appearing the "know-it-all" in front of her peers. We're constantly being told how to be ourselves, no wonder it feels like a struggle to avoid becoming everybody else.

We were each created to be different because the world needs what is uniquely ours to contribute. When you think of people who have changed the world, they have done so by following their own intuition and creative voice, against everything and everyone that told them they should be different. Steve Jobs dropped out of college, studied calligraphy and collected cans and bottles to obtain money for food. He followed his inner voice and is known as the "Father of the Digital Revolution". His advice to us, "Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary." (Stanford commencement speech)

Never stop being yourself. I wish you the courage to fight the good fight, to follow your heart no matter where it takes you, to trust that still, small voice within you. Do what you are being called to do, even if you can only fit in five minutes a day toward the pursuit of your dreams. You were put here for a reason, and the world is waiting to experience your own unique gifts, the real you, in all of your superhero splendor.