Dare to be Different

"To be nobody-but-myself—in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else– means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight, and never stop fighting.”

– E.E. Cummings

 

There's something very attractive about the idea of just being myself, it sounds simple yet profound. I have to ask next, how or when am I not myself? We all feel the burden to fit in: to think, feel and act the way we're "supposed to". The pressure might come from family, friends, society, anyone really. I believe we are under extreme pressure to conform, to behave in accordance with who others think we are or should be. We are taught from a young age to care about everyone else's opinions about us and respond in kind, to not rock the boat or cause discomfort to others. In response, we develop a false self, an acceptable face we put on for the world and forget what we've buried beneath the facade.

The expectations placed upon us are related to the roles we play, labels such as: mother, wife, divorcee, athlete, daughter, working mom, vegan, stay at home mom, sister, sick person, fit person, Christian... have all applied to me at some point. I find it amusing to surprise people with facts about me, like when I was a single mother with four young children, working full-time, and a triathlete. The labels didn't mix in their minds and they would more often respond with "whoa", perhaps they simply wondered how I fit it all in. I am a liberal Christian, and this confuses some people as well, just because I  strive to live by Jesus' teachings does not mean I am right wing conservative. We like to pigeonhole others, and I'm probably just as guilty in many respects. In our minds we think we have someone figured out, maybe we're trying to make everyone the same when the truth is we are all magically and wonderfully unique.

It's so easy to conform! My own life decisions sometimes teeter on the edge of being what others want or expect versus being true to myself. We all want to be accepted and loved, at a very deep level. We've all felt admonished for being who we are, as if we're not good enough, impractical, or too different. A young child dresses up in a superhero costume and his mom makes him change before going out, to avoid her own embarrassment. A college student majors in business because his parents have convinced him his art will never earn him a living in the "real world". A teenage girl purposefully keeps from raising her hand in class to avoid appearing the "know-it-all" in front of her peers. We're constantly being told how to be ourselves, no wonder it feels like a struggle to avoid becoming everybody else.

We were each created to be different because the world needs what is uniquely ours to contribute. When you think of people who have changed the world, they have done so by following their own intuition and creative voice, against everything and everyone that told them they should be different. Steve Jobs dropped out of college, studied calligraphy and collected cans and bottles to obtain money for food. He followed his inner voice and is known as the "Father of the Digital Revolution". His advice to us, "Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary." (Stanford commencement speech)

Never stop being yourself. I wish you the courage to fight the good fight, to follow your heart no matter where it takes you, to trust that still, small voice within you. Do what you are being called to do, even if you can only fit in five minutes a day toward the pursuit of your dreams. You were put here for a reason, and the world is waiting to experience your own unique gifts, the real you, in all of your superhero splendor.